Hmmm. What exactly can you say about Vext? Well, he was one of the stranger concepts to grace the DC Universe in recent years, and his comic book was hilarious - and it lasted exactly six issues. Well, thanks for coming by and I hope you check out some of my other web pages!

Huh? … What? That's not all? Umm … err … yeah, that is definitely not all. Keith Giffen, with his usual humorous aplomb, created a character that might've actually made comics funny again, had it been given an adequate chance. Giffen's previous DC creations, Ambush Bug and The Heckler, as well as he and J.M. DeMatteis's unique take on the Justice League had made being funny an important part of "funny books" again.

Vext was a God. Not a New God, but a God in the sense of Thor, Odin, Hercules (okay, so Hercules is just a Demi-God, so sue me), and Ares. He was a member of the "Jejeune Realm" (also known as the Borough of Mawkish Indifference) in the Pan-Dimensional Pantheons. Vext was, in fact, the "patron deity of mishap and misfortune." He was the embodiment of the principle of "Murphy's Law" ("Whatever can go wrong, will" or "If there are runners on first and second base and less that two outs, and the batter pops up to the infield, he is automatically out" - I know I always get that one confused).

The problem was that the Jejeune Realm was being phased out (read: obliterated from all existence) because they were no longer being actively worshipped by mortal beings. Vext and his fellow Gods were being evicted from their plane of existence, and unfortunately, Vext did get the paperwork in the mail to choose his new home. After a lot of confusion and waiting, Vext was sent to Earth, where he was to have access to the whole planet and to live among human society, so long as he didn't try to deliberately influence the course of human affairs, or attempt to take over the planet, or become a super-hero. So the series was basically about Vext's adventures as he tried to understand humans and try to fit in to the routine in Delta City.

So here's our cast of characters:

Vext, the Patron Deity of Mishap and Misfortune. He lives in Apartment 4-A of Mr. Danforth's building in Delta City.

Colleen McBride, aspiring writer and temp (well, she aspiring to be a writer, not aspiring to be a temp), who is Vext's friend and next-door neighbor. She lives in Apartment 4-B. She tries her best to help Vext adapt to the ways of the world, but it sure the heck is hard sometimes.

Mr. Danforth, Vext and Colleen's landlord. He's very hard of hearing and was almost eaten by the Murphy Bed the first time Vext was introduced to it.

The Murphy Bed, Vext's arch-enemy. It has a mind of its own and is trying to kill him. Really.

The Toilet, Vext's other arch-enemy. You're just supposed to jiggle it, but we all know that never works.

Well, that's our very basic cast of characters on Vext's side of the street (at least in the first issue of the series). The primary slant of most of the stories we did get was Vext's efforts at fitting into life on Earth (not that it was much different from his previous life in the Jejeune Realm…he was still a bad-luck magnet.

Vext did manage to grab a couple of high-class guest stars in his first issue. Superman (yes, THE Superman, not just some guy in a red sheet) and Zauriel (yes, THE Zauriel, not just some guy umm never mind) of the JLA came by to warn Vext against attempting to wrest control of the planet from Mankind. Considering Vext was having enough trouble just getting the toilet to stop running, I think I can say they left with an all-over good feeling about the encounter. Darkseid, Vext is not.

Meanwhile, in a plot thread across town, the series' also followed the adventures of rogue archaeologist Aaron Caldwell in his attempts to collect icons and statues of "minor deities" - the ones that were worshipped or idolized in peoples' homes rather than temples - in various cultures, and gain power from them. His two lovely assistants are Samantha and Louisa, and they don't necessarily share Aaron's enthusiasm for his quest, but they are very good at shooting people.

In the first story, the trio went to the Amazon River basin and secured an icon of Qrttglbrnglrtch, the nigh unpronounceable Patron Diety of Inadvertant Armageddon (and as such, the fact that Sam and Louisa massacred the tribe came as no surprise to them).

Vext met his first and only "super-villain" in his second issue. Well, he wasn't really a super-villain … just a stressed-out driver in a car who may or may not have had his metagene activated by the fact that Vext, during his driver's test, turned on the same empty stretch of road that the driver wanted to use. The driver became one with his car, which changed into a really cool looking machine and off they went - CRASH! In similar fashion, Vext also had trouble buying furnishings for his new apartment (at "Not Too Shabby Discount Furniture").

Vext #3 features the delivery of Vext's furniture. What a stir that solicitation must have caused in the comic book world! Naturally, the furniture came unassembled. Colleen attempted to help Vext, but ended up taking him to the emergency room when the furniture came alive and attacked! No. Not really. Vext did manage to trip and fall on a drawer handle in such a way that he was used as an object lesson and was berated by a puppet for being careless during a skit in the kiddie ward.

Across town, the folks at GeneTech discovered that their smart germs had taken a powder and scarpered away. They had escaped all the way to Burger Biz and were well on their way to complete control of the planet when they all ended up on Vext's burger. They couldn't handle Vext's digestive system, and the world was saved.

Soon after Vext's arrival, most of Aaron's collection of minor icons destroyed themselves, and Aaron (somehow correctly) deduced that this meant that their plane of existence had ceased to exist. He also figured out that the four remaining icons were intact because the Gods they represented had physically manifested themselves on Earth (three of these would obviously be Vext, Paramour and Rypta Gud'n. The fourth was never mentioned).

Paramour, the Patron Deity of Relationships Gone Hellishly Wrong showed up on Vext's door step in the next issue. She is Vext's sister…or maybe his fiancee…or his ex-wife. We're not really sure. I mean just over in West Virginia, you can marry your sister, so Lord knows what they do in higher realms. Anyway ... she was there to stay with Vext, as her last romantic dalliance had ended with his wife throwing her out. She got the bed and she snores (but then don't all the lookers?).

Aaron and Louisa went on expedition to the M'Tanga Plateau in Zaire, Africa. They had already been to Madagascar, Tasmania, Iraq, Turkey and Timbuktu and not found what Aaron was looking for, which was Rypta Gud'n (the Patron Deity of Ill-Timed Flatulence). Louisa got to the heart of the matter with the local tribe (blowing away the chief and all the witnesses) and went into the methane-filled temple (which had been sublet to Rypta from Ch'mbalamba, the Serpent God). After a rather Indiana Jones-esque exit from said temple, Aaron and Louisa met Rypta outside the temple, where they convinced him (and each other) to go back with them for observation and tests to figure out how to siphon off his Godly abilities. Naturally, they didn't tell him that last part.

We also get to see Vext's birth in this issue.

Paramour caused considerable confusion in issue #5, when trying to explain her relationship with Vext to Colleen. Vext admonished Paramour to tell Colleen the truth, and she did. Unfortunately, it was the truth about her and Vext being gods exiled on Earth. Luckily, Colleen took it pretty much in stride, since in the world of super-heroes and super-villains, "demonic and angelic visitations have become so commonplace these days".

In a plot thread across town, Aaron and the girls had Rypta in their now rather smelly penthouse and were setting up the "testing equipment", which was actually a device that Aaron hoped would channel Rypta's Godly abilities into himself, making him immortal. The girls fled the building to wait, and bet that Aaron would forget to ground the machine. The top of the building exploded. Rypta was dead, but Aaron was unharmed, and apparently had succeeded in his quest, but he had ALL of Rypta's abilities, including the flatulence bit.

While all of this was going on, the Pan-Dimensional Zone Monitor Surveillance center had watched the situation unfold with Colleen, Paramour and Vext, and we're going to take a hand in things. Vext told Colleen that it really wouldn't be a good idea for her to write about the God-thing, as just her knowing as much as she did was usually grounds for immediate termination by the Zone Monitors. She didn't take that news nearly as well as she did the Vext-God stuff.

While Vext and Colleen talked, Paramour prepared herself for a trip to the "Better Than Nothing" dating service. She picked a very hapless case for her first date: Aaron.

Our final issue opened with Vext dying on the battlefields of Asgard, Colleen being "modified" by the Zone Monitors, and Aaron sneaking off to avoid Samantha and Louisa (who kept one step ahead of him where ever he went in the world). Well, no not really. Everyone was just having bad dreams. Vext was invited in for a cup of cocoa with Colleen. The End.

And once again a fun, wonderfully-written, non-superhero comic book bites the dust.

Even an initial write-up in the first DCU Heroes Secret Files and Origins in early 1999 didn't help the book. The years 1998-2000 were not very good for DC fringe comic fans, as it saw the demise of Hourman, Xero, Chase, Resurrection Man, Aztek The Ultimate Man, Stars and S.T.R.I.P.E. and many more great books, including Vext.

I know there is a growing vocal faction out there that is rabidly anti-Keith Giffen, mainly because of his rather incomprehensible work on the newest incarnation of Suicide Squad, and the pointless changes he and Tom and Mary Bierbaum put The Legion of Super-Heroes through, and on those two points I agree with them wholeheartedly. But Giffen is one of the few writers who still is willing to sit down and do a humor comic. Remember when comics were also known as "funny books"? That's because they were funny. Really, they were...and Vext definitely was. Like The Heckler and Justice League International, Giffen provided a welcome break from all that gritty realism that has been infecting comics for the past decade.

Unfortunately for an older fan like myself, that's the stuff that sells. And, unfortunately, the buying public still hasn't realized the old adage: "Just because it sells, it doesn't mean it's good." No wonder I hear people comparing the Backstreet Boys to John Lennon.

COVER GALLERY